I dream of the heavens

I dream of the heavens, the dancing lights and ebbing tides of darkness between them. I dream that the vast distances can be overcome and that human beings will seek new places to colonize and call home. I dream of Mars, the red planet so like our own, its polar caps giving us a source of water to sustain life with. I dream of Europa, its global salty ocean melting away and terraforming for us a breathable atmosphere. I dream the mankind can reach out into the heavens and leave earths hold behind to find a peaceful existence beyond hatred and greed. I dream of life among the stars far from materialism and social conformity.

I dream the same dream that man has dreamed from his earliest memories. And as our minds take us deeper into science and understanding the impossible, we seek life on other worlds with the hope that our dreams might become possible.

On earth mankind is determined to destroy the home we've abused and neglected, we have ways to turn global destruction around, but man is too greedy to turn for self-mutilation. I feel it may be too late, that the Messiah will return and this earth will pass away inevitably. But if there is time, and if we keep dreaming, I believe there are other worlds for me to dream of and the faint hope of new places to call home

Whirlwinding

Its flowing fast now. Winds that have swept me far and kept my heart far from where my heart belongs. Every ventricle has paid its toll and here I stand with open hands and open minded words that are blinded seek some solace with a promise for love and peace at last. My heart once shattered and will was battered beyond what many man have known. But now I'm better and with feet unfettered I'll walk the windswept plain using my own name and live in shame no more. My love is flowing, whirlwinding free at last.

Shadows

Icy, cold air fills lungs like darkened arctic waters. Fear crawls from head to toe, incendiary flows of fathomless pain set sinews writhing. The tumultuous battle of mind over nothing, to nothing, toward not light, but a faint, desperate hope of even the faintest illumination. Moments are as endless eons of uncertainty growing. Long ago a resolve was borne through the depths of sadness, a determinate stance, set against the harbinger. Alas... little is to be gained, for it is as a dark stone seemingly immovable, that is tethered and rooted deep to the essence of the withering one. It is not a grip to be relinquished, but a brutal truth to be reconciled to. Though it seems to dissipate like a centurion storm, its resurgence is a certainty not to be disputed. And as always... A shade unknown, but known too well stands silent and near. Not for the pain, but for the fear itself does the traveler make its berth. Existence for both seems to hang on the nexus between both realms. The dark and the light. Where Shadows and Guardians war in chaotic radiance. The traveler is drawn, and in the drawing the ancient terror rises from within. A primal dissonance of unharmonious states. A broken hearted vagabond, seeks truth in dessicated wastelands, and the Thief sends a shade in the wake. Eternally the finites render this scene, a broken record of mirthless satyr, that decays and becomes the ashen remains of a fire long burnt out. But oh my Adonai! Turn not your face away forever, look upon brokenness and heal the scarred remains of the lone ethereal wolf, the warrior whose lot is yet to be cast.

You Smile (Song)

You smile, she smiles, she looks, away

You blush, and think, of what, to say

You talk, she talks, you laugh, she flirts

You fall, so fast, so hard, it hurts

And all the time there’s only one thing on your mind

Could this be the one you waited all your life to find

Could it be true, could it be you

How will you know, when will it show

You smile

Your love, it grows, with each, new day

You have, the ring, what will, she say

You ask, you want, she says, she will

You breathe, and think, oh heart, be still

‘Cause all the time there’s only one thing on your mind

Could this be the one you waited all your life to find

Could it be true, could it be you

How will you know, when will it show

You smile

She’s sad, she hurts, you don’t, know why

You try, to help, you watch, her cry

She’s cold, she’s cross, she pulls, away

It hurts, inside, what you, can’t say

‘Cause all the time there’s only one thing on your mind

Could this be the one you waited all your life to find

Could it be true, could it be you

How will you know, when will it show

You smile

When Love Died

When the curtain tore and the crimson flow soaked deep into the earth, the forgotten cried out and walked among us. A crown fit for no king but one, robes torn in flowing royal splendor, colored by purest waters. No heads bowed in reverence, only sorrow from hidden loving faces. A storm rent the sky in ever quaking madness, violent torrents shook golgothic roots to the core.

My First

Why does the darkness consume me always,

My heart aches with the pain of it,

Not the presence of evil,

But the scar it has left on my heart.

I was lost for so long,

I rejected the perfect love that He offered me,

Because I felt unworthy of it,

We are all unworthy,

But I felt it most of all.

Saint Paul’s words in my mouth,

“I am the greatest among sinners”,

Not because my sin is so great,

But because I love Jesus and I know better.

Because each sin is my rejection of Him,

Each evil done is a laugh in His face.

He suffered true pain,

To be tortured and killed on a cross,

To bear all of my sin and be separated from His father’s love.

I will never know that pain,

Except what I feel in my heart.

Pain for my betrayal,

Pain because I do not love Him the way I should,

Pain because I do not worship Him with my actions,

Because I do not speak to Him every day,

Because I ignore Him,

Because He loves me so much and wants to spend time with me.

What is my life without Him,

What, if I do not walk with Him every day,

What are these things I cling to,

Idols I place before Him.

These are not the desires of my heart,

So why do I feed them,

I want to desire nothing,

To have nothing,

To be nothing,

Only then will I see that I already have everything,

That I already am everything,

In His eyes.

“I pray that your life would be as wonderful as it was in God’s mind when He created you”.

I have to let go,

I have to give up,

I have to hit bottom,

Only after I die will I be resurrected,

“It is only when we lose everything, that we are free to do anything”

I want to love, and be loved,

I want to love everyone, everywhere.

Let there be no closed doors in my heart,

Especially not between me and my Jesus,

Let me love all those that He loves,

For He lives in all of those that He loves,

If I reject them, I reject Him,

If I love them, then His love can be given through me.

I want to be free, of all the burdens that tie me to the earth,

That I may take up the heaviest burden of all,

The cross that my Perfect Love died on,

That His blood could cover me,

And wash me clean,

Every day, for my sin is great,

It will not leave me soon,

But in time I think I can learn to let it die with me.

“Every night I died, and every night I was resurrected”

Born again from the ashes of my burning heart,

Let me be consumed by the fire,

Purified by the flame, by my pain.

Let me rise up like a mountain,

Not great in stature, but great in favor,

With God and His children,

Let me be carved out of wood, out of the tree He died on,

Let His strength be my own.

“This is my life, and its ending one minute at a time”

This is my life and its beginning one minute at a time.

“Have I been asleep, have I slept, have I been going to bed earlier and sleeping in later”

Yes, I have been dreaming of a life that has been waiting for me if only I will wake up,

And No. There is no sleep in my life, but even so,

Let me awake now, let me live now,

Put the world on my back, all of the souls that cry out for peace,

Let me carry them now,

As He carried me,

And thus will my anthem be,

“It is a far better thing I do now, than I have ever done before,

It is a far better rest I go to, than I have ever known”.

I will let go now,

I will love now,

I will live, now.

Jedidiah “Beloved of God”

Hole in my Heart (Song)

I sing a simple song

About a heart that’s broken

You turned and walked away

So many things unspoken

And for so long I used to lie awake late at night

Wondering why I let you go without a fight

Right now I’m falling apart

You left a hole in my heart

Living without you

Was like walking in the rain

I wanna feel the sun

But all I feel is pain

‘Cause I never loved anyone the way that I loved you

And it kills me to know you didn’t feel the same way too

Right now I’m falling apart

You left a hole in my heart

Prayin for the day

When my heart will finally mend

I was broken up at first

Now I’m stronger in the end

But the heart ache and loneliness never go away

And it seems like I fall apart a little more every day

Right now I’m falling apart

You left a hole in my heart

Drivin late one night

This song just came to me

I found a peace within

And truth I could finally see

‘Cause in the middle of everything He took me by the hand

Said I’ve loved you forever with a love that has no end

Now I’m not falling apart

God filled that hole in my heart